Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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