Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The air taste purple.
Randomize
