We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
vagina is talking i cant
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
