i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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