a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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