how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
