i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
