AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's never too late to be topless.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
