How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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