i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize