I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize