is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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