I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
