You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
