Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize