last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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