i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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