After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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