Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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