I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
