i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
