why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
