A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Mom said you looked used
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
