I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
