Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
