There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
