Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
