Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
