Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize