oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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