Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
