aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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