I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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