If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
