so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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