Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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