Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
