every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
