Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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