We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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