Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
