i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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