How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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