would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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