and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We won't sleep together?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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