Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
