There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
