...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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