I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
