Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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