Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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