Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
