Pappa wants mamma naked
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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