Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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