I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I seem to have left my pride at pride
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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