Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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