remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so let's talk penis.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
